Sea Change

I have been meaning to post for a while, but despite several intended topics, I haven't been able to coalesce my ramblings into a pointed statement. "You never do that!" one might reply... but I mean this has been BAD. Complete white noise of thoughts.

But I was woken this morning by some discomforting dream, not vivid enough to even be memorable, but that left me unable to put my head down and wait for the alarm to go off. So I'm laying, half-conscious, probably still mostly in a dream state, and attempting to get my bearings on the world, my life, etc. Trying to boot up my brain to the point that I can recognize the world and figure out how it works. You do this every morning, it takes about 10 seconds, and you move from the fuzzy logic world of dream and into the wakeful life you spend the rest of your time in.

I stalled there, caught in between. Every piece of definite knowledge felt wrong. Every decision was countermanded. There was some massive wrongness in the world that my brain was struggling to get around. I lay there for ten minutes or more completely unable to reconcile general existence with the life I had to wake up and deal with.

It might have been a holdover from whatever vaguely disturbing dream. It may have been a slight hangover making me slow in waking up. It might have been the bastard cats sleeping on my crotch.

But I can tell you this, once I got my wits about me I continued to have a powerful feeling of wrongness in the world, which means my subconscious will be actively fighting to correct it.

Long story short, I feel a change a-comin', even if I don't know why or how. Paradigm shift. Sea change. My brain is infected with an idea I can't communicate, even to myself, but it will gain primacy, and everything will revolve around it. This I know for certain, even if I don't know where I'll end up.

It's scary how powerful dreams can be... and memes.

tags: change  dream  confusion  premonition  meme  

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