It's hard to pick up a pen to write your own nemesis...

I attempted to spend all of my weekend (that is, the bits that I didn't spend working on the backlog at the office) trying to wrap my head around the title character in the latest script I've got afoot. So far, one full day spent behind me, I have utterly failed.

The trouble as I see it is that I've got a very distinct purpose and psyche for the fellah, but i just can't figure out how he works right now. He's too much a part of me that I am afraid to delve into to allow him to come out on paper right now.

Why do I say this? He's a depressive loser who can't seem to get any of is goals accomplished in life and is generally more accepting than raging about his fate. He knows that he's a tiny player in the big 'ol game that is life, and just drifts about surviving. In a way, very dharma-bum.

But that, in a nutshell, could be me for the past year and I'm distinctly hesitant to start shifting my worldview to accept that opinion of my life.

So I have to find a way to keep Oz Mulligan in his world, his shattered little reality, without burning down the walls of my own reality bubble. I think I'll go self-delude myself into wanting a beer.

tags: writing  oz mulligan  self delusion  

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